Sunday, April 12, 2009

Have you ever been amazon ranked?

There's a new term on the cyber-horizon. "amazon rank"... here's the definition:

amazon rank
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): amazon ranked

1. To censor and exclude on the basis of adult content in literature (except for Playboy, Penthouse, dogfighting and graphic novels depicting incest orgies).
2. To make changes based on inconsistent applications of standards, logic and common sense.

Etymology: from 12 April 2009 removal of sales rank figures from books on Amazon.com containing sexual, erotic, romantic, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered or queer content, rendering them impossible to find through basic search functions at the top of Amazon.com's website. Titles stripped of their sales rankings include "Bastard Out of Carolina," "Lady Chatterly's Lover," prominent romance novels, GLBTQ fiction novels, YA books, and narratives about gay people.

Example of usage: "I tried to do a report on Lady Chatterly's Lover for English Lit, but my teacher amazon ranked me and I got an F on grounds that it was obscene."

Alternate usage: "My girlfriend wanted to preserve her virginity, and I was happy to respect that, then she amazon ranked and decided anal sex was okay."

(If you like this, don't link here; link to http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/amazonrank/ instead)

Here's the backstory.

Amazon has begun removing "adult" and "explicit" titles (defined in a completely haphazard way, of course) from their searches and sales ranking systems. Why? "In consideration of the entire customer base"... which means they've been getting complaints from the you-know-who's.

Needless to say, authors (and not just the ones getting amazon ranked) are getting pretty pissed. This is part of the campaign to make them pay for their mistake.

Use the term in a blog. Link to the definition. The cumulative effect will be immense.

Remember the definition of santorum? It's like that.

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